Monday, May 02, 2005

Poetry Contest :-)

In the manner of Rat from "Pearls Before Swine", I thought I'd start a post about people (not individuals, tempting though it may be) who should be hit in the head. As more people occur to me, I'll update the list.

1. People who rake their lawns, stuff the leaves into plastic bags, send them to the landfill, and then buy chemical fertilizers. Just take the lawnmower over the leaves a couple of times and voila--fertilizer! How the heck do they think soil becomes fertile naturally? Magic?

2. People who either don't use their turn signals or turn them on when they're already part way into a turn.

3. Okay, I lied. I'm going to specify an individual. His name is C. F. Payne. He's an artist who has been commissioned by Reader's Digest to do a series of paintings "Our America" for their back cover. He thinks he is Norman Rockwell. He isn't.

4. People who insist that cutting hair makes it grow faster. The hair is DEAD, okay? D-E-A-D dead. Dead things don't care what happens to them. Trimming a dead thing will not make it grow. Not trimming a dead thing will not make it grow either. If anything changes the speed of hair growth, it's something that happens to the hair follicles--which are ALIVE--not the hair.


Blogger Hamlette said...

Dude, is there a way you could link to the Poetry Contest strip of "Pearls Before Swine"? Cuz some people aren't gonna get it...

7:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to say, Cowboy, that although cutting hair does not make it grow faster, it does allow it to grow faster. Once a hair gets a split end (from whatever reason) whatever growing it does breaks off almost immediate from its weakened condition. Once you cut that hair, you avoid whatever broke it in the first place, and it remains stronger with no growing barriers until it is broken again. So that's why those people are "dead" set on their insistence.

3:10 PM  
Blogger Octavo Dia said...

There are reasons for believing just about everything that is incorrect--if there was no reason there would be no belief. However, insisting on a demonstrably false belief deserves a punch in the head.

And, since it's kind of related, one of my favorite words is trichotillomania. It's the term for obsessive hair-pulling. I knew a girl in college with mild trichotillomania. She had to have her hair pulled back in a pony tail when she took a test, or she would see a split end and fix it, and another and another and another, until she ran out of time.

9:02 AM  

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